Sunday, July 20, 2008

Expanding Waistline?

Over the past few years I have noticed a considerable number of pants becoming too tight for me. The mystery lies in the fact that my overall body weight has not increased significantly. I have racked my brain trying to discover the reason behind this change. Much to my excitement, I believe I have discovered why people get big waistlines...they're too smart. As we each grow older we acquire new knowledge that becomes packed into our little brains. I hypothesize that as our knowledge increases, our brain becomes more dense, causing a shift in our center of gravity. This causes a lack of stability and balance. Further evidence can be seen in the loss of balance for the elderly (they're too smart). Luckily our bodies have a way to lower that center of gravity by reallocating some fat down around our middle region (for some it goes even lower, perhaps because they are extremely intelligent). Some experts argue that doing ab crunches "burns" the fat away, but I argue that the horizontal position spreads the fat back to its origins.

This being said, I imagine school is only exaggerating the effects of "waistline gravity distribution" upon my body. So wives, next time you notice your husband's belly squeezing out of the top of his pants like it's trying to escape, just remember how smart he is.

On a completely separate and unrelated topic, Oregon is in full berry season. We now have a freezer packed full of blueberries, raspberries, and strawberries that we picked at local fruit farms (blackberries are almost in season). We have made some really good stuff lately like fresh berry key limeade, raspberry ice cream, and berry chocolate cake (see recent post). This morning I made fresh blueberry sauce for our pancakes. I have been cooking quite a bit of food lately. Let me know if you have a good berry recipe.

7 comments:

the5johnsons said...

I hope that you are planning on bringing a cooler full of berries when you come for a visit

Heidi said...

I'm glad to know that my problem is I've just always been really smart! :) Whatever makes us feel better, huh? I love berries, I was telling Aaron how you guys can just go pick what you want and we were very jealous!

The Killer Bunch said...

Hey if you have time I'd love to see you guys! I hope you have a fun road trip home.

PS I left a memory for you on your last entry.

Ryan said...

I totally agree about the expanding waistline. The 30 pounds I've gained since high school (without growing any taller) is totally due to college, mission experiences, and dental school. Oh, also the school of hard knocks.

I'd also like some berries if you get a chance to swing by here. Strawberries are like $50/lb here...

Ryan said...

Question: Does this theory apply to losing weight? Cause I've dropped a couple notches on my belt. I'm worried - I don't want to get dumber, I've got a tough year ahead of me.

Holly Harris Murray said...

Ha Ha...I must be brillian then! It was fun to find your blog (don't even remember how I did)...how are you lady?

you can check my blog too if ya want. http://hollyrharris.blogspot.com. I am still a nanny so I write about potty training and stuff even cause I'm so awesome. J/K. Have a great summer!

Have a super summer

Kristin said...

Holly, your blog is locked, you might have to invite me, because I can't see it. My email is kristinsuefisher@yahoo.com. It was such a surprise to hear from you! I'm glad you said hi.